torn..

I thought I saw a man brought to life
he was warm he came around like he was dignified
he showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
you don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart s for
I don't know him anymore
there's nothing where he used to lie
my conversation has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's fine
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
lying naked on the floor
illusion never changed
into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
you're a little late
I'm already torn

so I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
but you `crawled beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have
no luck
I don't miss it all that much
there's just so many things
that I can't touch
I'm torn
there's nothing where he used to lie
my inspiration has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's right I'm torn...

=(

we are far apart again...
we dont belong to each other again...
we used to be closed...
used to be meaning a lot to each other...
but not anymore..
things had changed..
i know...
things just seem to crash...
but i gotta stand against it..
with a smile on my face...
cause i know i deserved it..
yet no one know how i feel...
deep inside....
feeling still strong...
but this time i know everything is clear...
i gotta tell myself to move on...
no matter how shit i feel...
no matter how hurt it gonna be...
yet tears still feel like pouring...
no doubt i thought things will change better..
at least i hope so...
but i am just too slow...
i didnt react before i can change the whole things...
but if that is our faith...
lol...
i just dont like the truth...
truth hurts...
i hate being so free...
i hate letting my brain to rest...
as thinking will start to fly....
then i wont like what happen next..
my perfect sky just torn into pieces...
just like my heart...
lol...
there is so much to express..
but i dunno where to start...
lol...
nvm la...
no one gonna know how it hurt....
hopes just pop like bubbles....
gotta tell myself to move on since you don't care anymore...
gotta tell myself i can do it..
gotta tell myself to let you go...
gotta tell myself to stop giving myself hope..
yet.. the more i tell myself... the more i know i am lying to myself..
sorry...
i still cant let go...
i need time...

people... bear with my emo...
i seriously hate being too free...
as it will make me start thinking of you...

for you..

okie... things are clear..
thanks for giving the answer...
hope you will be happy as well...
all the best of luck...

for you..

feelings flow back again.. when i was really decide to give up.. really decide to let go... wat is wrong with you.. are you just fooling around with me because you still cant find another girl?? people around me are telling bad things about you... telling me that it dun worth it... i dunno who to believe... you, them or myself?? i am really confuse.. do you know that people are telling bad things about me as well.. i dun like it at all.. wat the hell?? huh??? just leave me alone when you are not serious... if you are serious.. then come and show me that you are.. show me that you are the one that worth it.. not putting me into doubts and everythings... yet.. dun give me promise... you know my problems.. i dun believe promises.. and dun tell me forever... i dun believe it as well.. because you told me before.. and you are the one that leave me just because of some small matter... so wat do that means?? can i believe you?? no right?? it is hard to impress me again... i admit i still have feelings to you.. that is the reason why i cant just totally ignore you.. but seriously if you are serious then show me something.. if you gonna sit there and wait.. i will tell you nothing gonna happen... AND FOR THE ONE THAT TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I AM DESPERATE OR WHAT.. EM.. LIKE EXCUSE ME.. CAN YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND DONT EVEN THINK OF TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?? DONT BE SO LIFELESS AND TRY TO STEP INTO PEOPLE'S LIFE.. LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE.. and back to you... serious.. think about it again.. do i suit you?? em... i doubt it alot anyway.. so.. leave me alone if you are not serious.. we still can live without each other.. and dun fool my feelings... remember what goes around comes around... there are always someone watching what you are doing... serious dun try to fool with my feelings.. i dun wan to shed tears for you anymore... i have been crying a lot... my heart broke for you.. i am in the process of mending it back.. no doubts that being back together helps it to cure faster... yet... i am really serious... if you are not serious... then leave me alone k.. i dunno what you are thinking... ( i decided to let it go, but your call makes everything change again.. it is really torturing.. can i just get a clear answer??)










so:
if you are serious, do something..
if you are not, leave me alone..
dun fool my feeling.. handle it with extra care...



thank you..

girl....

when a girl is quite, millions of thins are running in her minds.
when a girl is not arguing.. she is thinking deeply..
when a girl is looking at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long will you be around..
when a girl answer you " i am fine" after a few seconds, she is not fine at all..
when a girl stares at you, she is wondering why are you lying..
when a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing you to be hers forever..
when a girl want to see you everyday, she want to be pampered..
when a girl says "i love you" she really means it..
when a girl says " i miss you" no one in the world can miss you more than that..
life only comes around once make sure you spend it with the correct person..
find a guy, who call you beautiful instead of hot..
who calls you back when you hang up on him..
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
wait for the guy.. that kisses your forehead..
who want to show you off to the world when you are in sweats..
who hold your hands in front of his friends..
who is constantly reminding you how much he loves and care about you...
and how lucky is him to have you...
and turns to his friends and say "that's her!!"

finish exams d...
yeepee...
hehehehe....
so now i can be so free d....

kiddo...

for whoever it is....
go care about your own life and dun ever step into my life..
who you think you can tell me what to do...
dun just send a msg and then dun even dare to reveal who you are..
if you are doing a good thing just to remind me or whatever, i am grateful for your advices...
yet... i dun even need it...
and if you think that this is for fun...
sorry...
you just cant grow up....
this is a small kid game...
not fun at all...
and it will make me screw you up like hell...
i am trying so much to sound good...
dun try to go over the limit...
and if you think that this will hurt me or whatever...
i willl tell you...
sorry again...
it wont at all...
he mean nothing for me d..
just a memory...
and if i found our that someone is related with this allien that send the msg, both of you all gonna get from me pretty well...
i am seriously trying so much to sound good and polite...
but everything has it limit...
it is just you stop it totally...
or you reveal who you are...
grow up small kid...
this aint fun at all..
save your energy for growing up...
kiddo...